After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker´s compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related.

“How did you get the wooden leg?” asked the agent.

In a booming voice the pirate replied, “Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang ´round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg.”

The agent replied, “That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?”

“Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang ´round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand,” said the pirate.

“That´s also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?” asked the agent.

The pirate replied, “Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!”

“What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?” said the agent.

“It were the first day with me hook!”

Jeff’s farm was destroyed by a tornado. His wife Amy called their insurance agent and said, “The farm was insured for $200,000 and we want the money.”

“I’m sorry Amy, but it doesn’t work that way. We will determine the value of your farm and get you a new one that is worth about the same.” the agent said.

Amy paused and replied, “Well, in that case, I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”